Astrology Wizard says

For you Mister Leos out there:

leo
july 23 - august 22
Upfront and centre is your location, so you’ll be loving this week as more planets congregate in your sign than anywhere else. Money is a worry and other people look as reliable as they usually are, which recently at any rate, means not at all. But who’s interested, while the cosmos plays your song, the spotlight shines and it’s time to strut your stuff once more? Put on your face, shake the moths off your party frock and knock the world dead again, just like you know you can. You have been stressed, fed up and disappointed but you know what? Your public doesn’t care and neither do you anymore, right?

Strict Order

Wicked The Musical - Poster

I finished reading ‘Wicked’. I don’t understand it. And I don’t think I like it. There.

I played a little Blokus. Whipped everyone’s a****. After a while, I got bored. So I tossed and turned and spent the whole afternoon browsing YouTube looking for videos of Hugh Laurie and Mr Children.

For the first time in weeks, my head is throbbing with what is going to become a full blown migraine. No sign of cough, cold or flu so I honestly think I got THAT pink problem under control.

I am sick sick sick sick sick of my boy troubles, imaginary or otherwise. I am sick of the stalkers, the predators, the swingers, the alternatives who think they can swing to the other side at the snap of the fingers, the bleeders (definition: those who believe love has to bleed and hurt to be real), the starry-eyed admirers who are so damn young I could be their mothers, the party animals, the faux art lovers who are more interested in gawking at my breasts than at actual art and the misguided optimists who think I am a work in progress that they can modify for the better (definition: make obedient).

So for the next couple of weeks I am putting my E90 and myself on an embargo. There. Done.

*Slams the door, goes to Starbucks for the largest freakin’ frappucino that they can make. And extra whipped cream on top. With what I’ve been through, I deserve the calories.*

Borrowed Words

He’s gone again. See you in six months, he said and then he offered me a handshake. I almost laughed, I wasn’t sure whether I found it funny or perplexing, but I shook my head and watched him leave.

I can’t find the right words to respond to him so I didn’t say anything.

It’s another long vacation, I guess.

This too, shall pass.

=========================================

Featured video is “Surrender” by Mr Children.

Artist: Mr. Children
Title: Surrender
Words: Sakurai Kazutoshi
Music: Sakurai Kazutoshi

Burning my self on coffee is an indication
of how upset I am.
It’s cause you go and spring ‘goodbye’ on me so suddenly.

If I could just laugh it off,
how great a guy would you think I was.
but that’s not me.

It’s last minute but
I give it one more try,
but, I Surrender
the thick thunder clouds are gathering in my heart.

I believed love was just an illusion anyway,
back when I lived my life thinking I knew everything
I thought you’re foolish but,

I’m beaten ragged, here
just some sap,
no more, I Surrender
that the fusion I so despise could make me cry,
makes me despise myself, despise.

light up the darkness, the way you used to
without you I feel insecure
I used to think I could lose it all and not give a shit
I had myself convinced of it…

a merciless rain falls in my heart
the days we were together, wash by and disappear
like trash in the street. The End.

Translated By: Brian Stewart & Takako Sakuma

ROMAJI VERSION

ko-hi- gurai de yakedo shita no ga
douyou shiteru shouko nan dakedo
sayonara wo kimi ga kyuu ni iu kara sa

waraitobasu koto ga dekita nara
donna ni ka gureito na yatsu to omowareru darou?
demo boku ha chigau

mou dotanba
saredo mou hitooshi
keredo I Surrender
bunatsui sekiranun ga mune no naka ni tachikomeru

aijyou nante douse iryu-jyon da to
wake shiri kao de kurashita hibi ha
kimi ga hakuchi ni omoe mo shita kedo

mou kotenpan
tada no ohitoyoshi
mohaya I Surrender
daikirai na fyu-jyon de nakesou na jibun ga iya iya

kurayami wo terashite yo ano koro no you ni
kimi nashi jya fuantei nanda yo
issaigassai wo nakushite mo kamawanai to omoeta no ni
sou shinjireta no ni

mune ni mujyou no ame ga furu
futari de sugoshita hibi ha rojyou no chiri no you
nagare kiete The End sa

Live. Life. Free.

Dum spiro, spero (Latin). While I breathe, I hope.

Namonaki Uta (Poem Without A Name)

Mr Children

This post is a piece of news that will be of no interest to most of you but I will post it anyway. Mr Children’s song ‘Gift’ due to be released on 30 July 2008 will be the official Beijing Olympic 2008 theme song on NHK. Very very cool. In case you haven’t noticed - saya sangat suka Mr Children. Totemo dai suki misuchiru, ne. Borders a little bit on obsession. I even did up a tribute website  because it was so difficult to find English websites about them back then. Unfortunately, due to work etc it remains un-updated since 2005. But, I intend to re-do it all over again in the near future.

You can get transliteration of “Gift” from Brian & Takako of Utau Inu (formerly of centigrade j). Videos, romaji and more translations can be found at Jpop Asia.

I am listening to Namonaki Uta, the first Mr Children song that I ever listened to (full story here). And you know what, in my state right now, this song is perfect because it reminds me how I can fall in love in an instant without knowing what was going on. It happens to be Mr Children’s biggest selling single to-date; and ironically one of the easiest songs Sakurai ever written (he is said to be very surprised at its immense popularity because it hardly took any effort at all).

Apart from being a profilic songwriter with a very unique pronounciation and singing style, Sakurai is widely regarded as one of the best lyricists in the Japanese music industry. The opening lines of their song “Hero” taken off the superb Shifuku no Oto album is “Supposing that the world could be saved by one person giving their life in exchange, I would be the man who waits until someone else has volunteered”. Who would write lyrics like that? He’s crazy.

See the translation  below courtesy of Megchan with minor editing for clarity.

Listen to the song here (MP4 file) - right hand click your mouse and save the file coz I did not embed it into the page. You can use Real Player to listen to it if you don’t a compatible music player that supports MP4.

NAMONAKI UTA (POEM WITHOUT A NAME)

It doesn’t matter if it’s a little dirty
I’ll eat everything anyway
Oh darlin’, who are you?
Clutching tightly to the truth

If you doubt me
I’ll cut my throat for you
Oh darlin’, I’m a fool
I’ll give you something precious

Standing in the irritation-inducing streets
It feels like even my feelings are becoming less real

But in this incongruous life
Sometimes our emotions get unstable, right?
But, darlin’, I’ll worry with you
And offer you my life

In your heart there’s fear that you will not be able to live
But you soldier on, blaming it on someone else
If you are struggling
In the prison of self
That you’ve unknowingly built
Well I’m letting you know that it’s the same for me too

No matter how much we understand each other
There will always be lonely nights
Oh darlin’, no one can erase
This prejudice

I’ve stepped on a lot of things to get here
But I feel like I’ve finally found the one thing I don’t want to lose

The sillier your gestures
The tenderer I feel
Oh darlin’, every time we meet
Tell me the story of your dreams

Love is not something to steal or to give
It’s something you just notice is there one day
Walking through the streets, singing a song as the wind blows
Throw away that strange pride
And it will start from there

Hopelessness, despair (down)
Why are you faltering?
Love, freedom, hope, dreams (courage)
Look down at your feet, you’re gonna stumble

You fall in love without any thought of its consequences
And even if you hurt someone sometimes
At this day and age it doesn’t make your heart ache with guilt anymore
Cos sympathizing with someone else is futile
And just pierces your own heart

But
In your heart there’s fear that you will not be able to live
But you soldier on, blaming it on someone else
If you are struggling
In the prison of self
That you’ve unknowingly built
I’m telling you, it’s the same for everyone, even me

It’s always difficult to convey
Something intangible like love
So, darlin’, that is why
This poem without a name
Will always be dedicated to you.

Un-Promise

I want to break the gag order!

Arrrrgh……

Rainy Mondays

Songs that I listen to when I need a pick me up

1. Everything (It’s You) - Mr Children
2. Only God Can Explain - Splender
3. Run to the Water - Live
4. Freshmen - Verve Pipe
5. Other Side of The World - KT Tunstall
6. A Sorta Fairy Tale - Tori Amos
7. Wasted Time - Skid Row
8. Fighting Spirit - Glay
9. Careless - Glen Phillips
10. Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
11. How You Remind Me - Nickelback
12. Bad Day - Fuel
13. Try - Nelly Furtado
14. Amie - Damien Rice
15. Leave - Matchbox 20
16. Calling All Angels - Lenny Kravitz
17. No Time - Frente
18. To Zanarkand - FFX Soundtrack
19. Heaven - Ayumi Hamasaki
20. Archduke Trio - Beethoven (in reference to Kafka on The Shore)
21. Can’t Change Me - Chris Cornell
22. Goin’ Where the Wind Blows - Mr Big
23. No Regrets - Robbie Williams
24. Across The Universe - Beatles

What do you listen to when you’re down?

Chicks and Supercars

Yesterday as usual I was babysitting my nephews Amar (10 yrs old) and Amin (turning 3 yrs old soon). As Ina no longer has classes on the weekends, she decided to join us. Originally we were supposed to go to Sunway Lagoon but decided it was too hot to frolic in the water and spent the afternoon walking around Sunway Pyramid instead.

After the usual tantrum and the rolling on the floor like a possessed demon child when I refused to allow the kids to stop by at the toy stall that sells Ben-10 toys, we passed by Mazda’s car exhibition at the concourse of the new pyramid wing. I walked past it without any interest. But Ina and the kids quickly pushed their way through the crowd and stopped to gawk at the Mazda MX-5 Roadster Coupe.

Reluctantly, I walked up to them. Amar and Amin were ooh-ing and aah-ing over the car, while Ina went in search of the salesman to get a brochure. The car looks just like this one:

The green Miata

• Amar: Acik belilah kereta ni. Best. (Acik, you buy la this car. Best)
• Ijah: Too small la. If Acik buy this, where are you and adik going to sit?
• Amar: Tak apa, Amar and Adik boleh duduk dekat-dekat (It’s ok, Amar and adik can sit closely).
• Ijah: Ok, why don’t you try and sit in the car (gesturing at the driver’s seat. Both children quickly scrambled onto the car and started to jump up and down excitedly).
• Ina: (while waving the brochure. The salesman was right behind her) You must buy this Ijah. Only RM230k. Cheap cheap.
• Ijah: (almost fainted when Ina said the car is cheap) It’s too flashy for me la.
• Ina: What do you mean flashy?! I think it is just nice (proceeded to throw the kids out of the car and pretended to drive).
• Ijah: I am already quite firm on buying a BMW M-sports.
• Salesman: (quickly interrupts) Oh you cannot get a BMW for RM230k. If you can, that means it is a recon unit. This one is fully imported you know.
• Ijah: How long is the waiting period?
• Salesman: Only one month.
• Ina: (still in car) Why don’t we share? Tapi aku la yang akan drive hari-hari hahaha (but I will be the one who drives it every day hahaha).
• Amar: Acik nak  beli kereta kecik ni? (Acik are you buying this small car?)
• Ijah: Tak tau (I don’t know). Acik’s friend also drives a Mazda. I think I should buy a different brand. Lagipun BMW is reliable and I am very careless with cars.
• Amar: Tapi kereta kecik ni cantik (but this small car is beautiful).
• Salesman: (sensing my hesitation) I can arrange a special test-drive session for you. You just give me a call (gave me his card). And if you take a RM200k 9 years loan, the installment is only RMX,XXX a month (furiously punched in the numbers on his pocket calculator and showed me the final figure).
• Ina: (getting out of the car) You know you should go online and read about this car. It is the best in its class. A lot of awards. (glanced at the installment figure) You can afford that, what.
• Ijah: (smiled weakly) It’s not a matter of affordability. It’s just not me.
• Ina: I think it is so you. Don’t get the red one, that’s too loud and trashy. This green one will suit you very well. But you have to move house. You can’t stay at the dump you’re staying in right now if you buy this car.

We thanked the salesman after promising that I will call him for a test drive. Then we went to have ice cream in Haagen Dazs on the Ground Floor.

As I was waiting for the ice cream to come:

• Amar: Bila acik nak beli kereta kecik tu (when are you buying the small car?)
• Ijah: (laughs) Kena test-drive dulu, lepas tu baru beli (must test drive first, then only we buy).
• Amar: Tapi kereta tu best lah.
• Amin: (echoing the brother) kereta tu best lah.
• Ijah: Ok, nanti acik beli (ok I will buy it later).

Ice cream came and we ate noisily. Then:

• Amar: Bila boleh dapat? (when can you get it)?
• Ijah: Dapat apa? (get what?)
• Amar: Kereta kecik tu lah (the small car just now lah)
• Ijah: Sebulan (in a month).
• Amar: Sebulan tu berapa lama? (How long is a month?)
• Ijah: 4 minggu (4 weeks)
• Amar: Jadi kita kira 4 minggu dari minggu depan lah? Wow bestnya (So we calculate the 4 weeks starting next week lah?).
• Ijah: (laughs)
• Amar and Amin: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! (Amar and Amin proceeded to do a little victory happy dance.)

Emi texted “Chicks and supercars are very sexy, you know.”

Die.

From Astrology Wizard - Just Because

Mmmm….

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21

You know life needs to change. These aren’t the sort of updates you can make in your routines and surroundings either, even though alterations here will be an inevitable outcome of the kind of fundamental inner shift that you need to effect. But this is the crux of the matter, because you’re realising it’s your whole outlook and approach that you’ve outgrown, and that everything else will follow once you can address these issues inside yourself. This is one thing, but you’re concerned over how this might impact on those you care about. No worse than you feeling like you do now, you can be sure…

http://www.astrologywizard.com/weekscopes.htm

Lucky Me!

Firstly, thanks to PC and Amioq.

Secondly, Amioq I know you have been snooping around and reading certain, ahem, posts in here.

Thirdly, I just got home. But I need to post this. Tonight I was in Bangsar, at La Bodega on Telawi to be exact.  I was sitting outside the cafe and talking on the phone when I was overcame by the urge to leave the place. So I stood up, phone to my ear and waved goodbye to the floor manager. I was not even 10 steps away from La Bodega when I heard a commotion.

I turned around to see that a rowdy crowd of revelers from Absolute Chemistry across the street has spilled  to La Bodega in a drunken brawl… in fact right up where I was sitting. They even broke the glass that I was just drinking from! People were running helter skelter and patrons from other bars/restaurants/cafes on the same street rushed out in curiosity to see what was happening. I just stood there transfixed and amazed (bad choice of word but you know what I mean) at the coincidence. I literally left the place seconds before hell broke loose. How lucky was I?

I didn’t wait for my friend to turn up. Jumped into the nearest taxi and asked him to leave the place, pronto. The fight was getting rowdier and I didn’t want to get caught in that kind of mess. We passed by police patrol cars that were rushing to the scene as we exited Telawi.

On other stuff that I can’t discuss here anymore as I have agreed to abide by a gag order, I wasn’t so lucky. In retrospect, maybe my luck was accumulating the whole day long so that I have a safe passage out of Bangsar just now.

Either way, no complaints!