Posted by: ijahamran | November 10, 2009

It’s The Pink That Makes It Special

I didn’t think the day would come that I would miss the stupid ipod but today I do. 80GB worth of songs collected in the last 3 years of my life gone in 20 seconds. The thing that annoys me the most is that I sold most of the CDs during my de-cluttering frenzy last May so now I am both CD-less and MP3-less. I have no idea how I am going to find those songs again but I guess the silver lining is now I will have to stop being a music slut and carefully choose those that I really want to hear. Anyway, so the short of it is I am going back to my Sony roots. I mean how cute is THIS little monster?

sony-nw-a1200

It’s been discontinued though so chances are I will be getting something boring in black.

That’s it. That’s all that I wanted for my birthday this year.  No list of 35 things. No cure for stupidity and world peace. Just a pink walkman. I’ll be celebrating it with the sisters at AFA the weekend after the next, and after that a rock party with friends, and capped with a trip to the beach to decompress.

It has been such an incredible year.

Posted by: ijahamran | November 9, 2009

My Spaghetti is Da Bomb

The impossible has happened. Someone from my long gone past tracked me on facebook just to ask for my spaghetti recipe.

I can’t even make this up if I wanted to.

ScreenHunter_01 Nov. 09 14.26

Obviously she hasn’t heard my Kitchen Burning story.

 

 

Posted by: ijahamran | October 15, 2009

An NEP Beneficiary’s Side of the Story

I feel that I had to write this article because I feel strongly about the National Economic Policy (NEP).
My father was a primary school teacher. Because of that, I was able to get my hands on books and resources that my other friends did not have. He was also an avid reader, so we had 3 newspapers – Berita Harian, Utusan Malaysia and Utusan Melayu – delivered to our house for as long as I could remember. When we were older, he added The Star into the subscription. I only had one set of revision books, and those were handed down from my older siblings. I was very unhappy about it. The information were outdated and the books had scribbles all over its margins. I did the mock tests so often I could remember the answers without even looking at the questions anymore. But as I grew older I realized that it was the lack of revision materials that made me read everything else that we had in the house and in the school library.
Still, despite my father’s best efforts, he would have not been able to afford to give us the kind of education that a boarding school could. The nearest secondary school was about an hour away. It was overcrowded, under-funded, short-staffed. We would have been too tired and too cranky to be able to study, and it would have been too easy for us to be seduced to leave school and start working at nearby factories – after all, most of our friends did and the extra money certainly would come in handy. There was no private tuition centres available – and even if there was any, priority would have gone to putting food on the table. As children we instinctively knew that if we want to make better lives for ourselves, the path would be through better education. It was a belief that was shared by everyone in the village.
So when I was accepted into a boarding school, the whole kampong rejoiced. They arranged for prayers and community cookouts at the mosque. My friends’ parents would drop by at the house to give me angpow packets to help with the expenses. Relatives near and far would come to visit. It was an honour. The society that I grew up in was one that believed it was a literal one-in-a-million chance. They were genuinely happy for me, happy that someone from this little village would have access to an education system that would pave way for a better life to one of its own. It was a celebration for every single one of us.
One of the benefits of studying in a boarding school is getting a monthly stipend from the Government. When the first stipend came in – which was RM30, I wrote to my father and told him he didn’t have to send me an allowance anymore. He continued doing so and I saved every single cent of that allowance because I felt guilty whenever I attempted to spend it. I used my stipend to pay for my monthly expenses like buying detergent and school supplies, after all there was no need to worry about food or books as these were provided by the school. When the first semester break came and I went home, I gave my father the allowance that I had saved and said I didn’t need it.
Then he told me something that I knew I would remember for the rest of my life. He said that the stipend that I received did not come from the Government. It came from the people – from income taxes and from repayment of loans that the people before me had taken. It was not a gift or a privilege, he said, and that some day when I am in a position to repay these back to the society, I should not shirk from that responsibility. His voice would raise with a little hint of anger. Never abscond paying your income tax or study loans, he said. If you do that means you are depriving another underprivileged child of the opportunity to get access to education. It would be poor repayment to the system that had given you so much.
He gave me back the envelope that contained the saved allowance. Use it to buy whatever you want, he said.
I used the money to buy a walkman. You may think that it was a frivolous purchase given that there were so many other essentials that I could have bought. But it was the first little luxury that I allowed myself to have, one that I coveted for a very long time, my first insensible acquisition that brought me so much satisfaction without the burden of guilt.
It would be years later before I figured out that I was, in fact, a direct beneficiary of the National Economic Policy.
Am I thankful? Yes. Do I think it is an unfair policy? Yes. Do I think it should be continued? Yes. Should it be changed to provide equal opportunity to all underprivileged Malaysian children? Yes.
I was talking to a friend the other day when the conversation turned into GLCs and preferential treatments for Bumiputera. When he was talking about NEP and how it created a generation of Malays who relies on being spoonfed and assisted by the Government, I cleared my throat and told him, I am an NEP child. He was silent for a moment and then he said, then you must be an exception to the rule. Not true, I disagreed. NEP is not about race politics. It is about improving the socio-economic conditions of the majority of the population. When it was designed, that majority was Malay. When the system works, it works. Is it high time to redefine “majority of the population”? Yes. I believe NEP has merits. I am proof of that. And I am sure if you look around you, you will see further proofs. It would be naieve to expect NEP to work 100%. Greed, stupidity, prejudice. sense of entitlement, ignorance – all these will continue to exist and seep into the minds of the people, with or without NEP. But if you could pull out one child from a situation where he would otherwise not been able to get out of without better education and financial assistance, wouldn’t you?
I would say this. I am sure I would have been happy being a production operator as long as I am able to earn an honest living. In fact I know I would be happy, because I have worked as one during school holidays. But had that been my path due to the circumstance that I was in, what a waste it would have been to my talent and intellect.
Would my children be NEP children? No. They don’t have the right to. I am now in a position where I am able to independently finance their education without relying on Government resources or assistance. The system is not there to be taken advantage of, and I believe to do so is disrecpectful and ungrateful.
And by the way, my village was multiracial. When I was accepted into a boarding school, the Tg Tualang Chinese and the Sikhs from Kg Timah were there to congratulate me too. Like I said, it was never about races. We were one and the same.
There is a huge difference between giving someone a break, and doing him a favour.
I was given a break. That is what NEP means to me. And for that reason alone, I will continue to support and be thankful for its existence.

Ijah’s note: I was asked by many readers if they can repost this link in their blog(s) or FBs. Yes, you can. Life’s too short to worry about hate mails.

===========================================

I feel that I had to write this article because I feel strongly about the National Economic Policy (NEP).

My father was a primary school teacher. Because of that, I was able to get my hands on books and resources that my other friends did not have. He was also an avid reader, so we had 3 newspapers – Berita Harian, Utusan Malaysia and Utusan Melayu – delivered to our house for as long as I could remember. When we were older, he added The Star into the subscription. I only had one set of revision books, and those were handed down from my older siblings. I was very unhappy about it. The information were outdated and the books had scribbles all over its margins. I did the mock tests so often I could remember the answers without even looking at the questions anymore. But as I grew older I realized that it was the lack of revision materials that made me read everything else that we had in the house and in the school library.

Still, despite my father’s best efforts, he would have not been able to afford to give us the kind of education that a boarding school could. The nearest secondary school was about an hour away. It was overcrowded, under-funded, short-staffed. We would have been too tired and too cranky to be able to study, and it would have been too easy for us to be seduced to leave school and start working at nearby factories – after all, most of our friends did and the extra money certainly would come in handy. There was no private tuition centres available – and even if there was any, priority would have gone to putting food on the table. As children we instinctively knew that if we want to make better lives for ourselves, the path would be through better education. It was a belief that was shared by everyone in the village.

So when I was accepted into a boarding school, the whole kampong rejoiced. They arranged for prayers and community cookouts at the mosque. My friends’ parents would drop by at the house to give me angpow packets to help with the expenses. Relatives near and far would come to visit. It was an honour. The society that I grew up in was one that believed it was a literal one-in-a-million chance. They were genuinely happy for me, happy that someone from this little village would have access to an education system that would pave way for a better life to one of its own. It was a celebration for every single one of us.

One of the benefits of studying in a boarding school is getting a monthly stipend from the Government. When the first stipend came in – which was RM30, I wrote to my father and told him he didn’t have to send me an allowance anymore. He continued doing so and I saved every single cent of that allowance because I felt guilty whenever I attempted to spend it. I used my stipend to pay for my monthly expenses like buying detergent and school supplies, after all there was no need to worry about food or books as these were provided by the school. When the first semester break came and I went home, I gave my father the allowance that I had saved and said I didn’t need it.

Then he told me something that I knew I would remember for the rest of my life. He said that the stipend that I received did not come from the Government. It came from the people – from income taxes and from repayment of loans that the people before me had taken. It was not a gift or a privilege, he said, and that some day when I am in a position to repay these back to the society, I should not shirk from that responsibility. His voice would raise with a little hint of anger. Never abscond paying your income tax or study loans, he said. If you do that means you are depriving another underprivileged child of the opportunity to get access to education. It would be poor repayment to the system that had given you so much.

He gave me back the envelope that contained the saved allowance. Use it to buy whatever you want, he said.

I used the money to buy a walkman. You may think that it was a frivolous purchase given that there were so many other essentials that I could have bought. But it was the first little luxury that I allowed myself to have, one that I coveted for a very long time, my first insensible acquisition that brought me so much satisfaction without the burden of guilt.

It would be years later before I figured out that I was, in fact, a direct beneficiary of the National Economic Policy.

Am I thankful? Yes. Do I think it is an unfair policy? Yes. Do I think it should be continued? Yes. Should it be changed to provide equal opportunity to all underprivileged Malaysian children? Yes.

I was talking to a friend the other day when the conversation turned into GLCs and preferential treatments for Bumiputera. When he was talking about NEP and how it created a generation of Malays who relies on being spoonfed and assisted by the Government, I cleared my throat and told him, I am an NEP child. He was silent for a moment and then he said, then you must be an exception to the rule. Not true, I disagreed. NEP is not about race politics. It is about improving the socio-economic conditions of the majority of the population. When it was designed, that majority was Malay. When the system works, it works. Is it high time to redefine “majority of the population”? Yes. I believe NEP has merits. I am proof of that. And I am sure if you look around you, you will see further proofs. It would be naieve to expect NEP to work 100%. Greed, stupidity, prejudice, sense of entitlement, ignorance – all these will continue to exist and seep into the minds of the people, with or without NEP. But if you could pull out one child from a situation where he would otherwise not been able to get out of without better education and financial assistance, wouldn’t you?

I would say this. I am sure I would have been happy being a production operator as long as I am able to earn an honest living. In fact I know I would be happy, because I have worked as one during school holidays. But had that been my path due to the circumstance that I was in, what a waste it would have been to my talent and intellect.

Would my children be NEP children? No. They don’t have the right to. I am now in a position where I am able to independently finance their education without relying on Government resources or assistance. The system is not there to be taken advantage of, and I believe to do so is disrecpectful and ungrateful.

And by the way, my village was multiracial. When I was accepted into a boarding school, the Tg Tualang Chinese and the Sikhs from Kg Timah were there to congratulate me too. Like I said, it was never about races. We were one and the same.

There is a huge difference between giving someone a break, and doing him a favour.

I was given a break. That is what NEP means to me. And for that reason alone, I will continue to support and be thankful for its existence.

Posted by: ijahamran | September 28, 2009

Ijah As Tifa Lockhart

Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

As far as strong female characters in gaming is concerned, I guess Tifa Lockhart is as good as they come. I like her kick-ass kung-fu and especially like her leather outfit, but I am totally exasperated by her obvious pining (and whining) for Cloud. Pleaaaaase.  With that tight leather suit, you can get any man you want honey. No need to mourn over someone who keeps his dead girlfriend’s voice message in his mobile phone.

Anyway, this is what I will be (or hope to be) dressed as at the AFA09. Tifa’s an old character  and has been done many times by otakus during cosplays. But I will go as her anyhow because you can never have too many leather outfits. Plus, the other costumes are just way too out there – not that I mind but at 35 I think I should give up showing too much skin at events where I am 10-15years older than the average participant.

I am going to change a few details to suit my style (like changing the black converse to thigh-high leather boots) and pink ribbon instead of red.

Below, a mix-video from Advent Children.

Posted by: ijahamran | September 26, 2009

Next Stop: Anime Festival Asia 2009

The 10-year old boy in me is giddy with excitement. Suntec here we come.

afa09

Posted by: ijahamran | September 25, 2009

Remembering the Greats

A moment of silence please, to remember these greats:

Yoshito Usui, Creator of the beloved Crayon Shin-chan series. We will miss you very much.

egm

Electronic Gaming Monthly (EGM), my favourite gaming magazine. Every year I will ask for a subscription of this magazine as a birthday present. I have owned every copy since 2003. Here’s hoping Steve Harris will revive it (phoenix down!).

Posted by: ijahamran | August 31, 2009

Always Half Full

This is what I face everyday:

ScreenHunter_01 Aug. 31 22.24

And this is the reason why unbelievers don’t rattle me:

Tony Fernandes CEO Blog

Yes, Happy Merdeka everyone.

Posted by: ijahamran | August 24, 2009

Lemons, Lemonade

I was browsing through my facebook notes and I felt compelled to write this post.

Last April I had a huge fight with 2 persons, ironically both from opposing sides (and they hate each other), but both agreed on one thing —- what I wanted to do was something that was not possible.

I asked one after the other, in different ways and different times, why was it not possible? They gave me all sorts of answers: it’s not realistic Ijah; it’s all about math Ijah, determination and experience is not enough; the timing is too short Ijah and I don’t have the mood anymore;  there is no way this can work Ijah. Bla bla bla.

It didn’t matter what solution that I offered, or the different scenarios that I painted. Both of them were adamant it would not work.  So my conclusion was simple – in the end it wasn’t about risks. Both sides didn’t have the heart. So, they didn’t want to take that one step further to make things happen. One was too concerned with the numbers; too engrossed with the nity gritty to be able to lok at the big picture. The other was too concerned with mood, too self-absorbed and inwards-looking to be able to complete the task given. Both were banking on waiting for the perfect condition, the perfect timing, the perfect weather. So I told both of them adios. I withdrew myself from the project. And that was that.

I knew that night would be a rough one for me but hey, playing victim has never been my strong suit. I went out to town to have teh tarik with some friends and on the same night – get this – I was robbed by snatch thief and lost my 2-day old Nintendo DS (v1.0) and my phone fell to the ground, smashing everything to bits. Bad luck comes in three’s, eh?

Oh well, I thought, my sabbatical was almost over anyway. Before the fights happened, I was seriously contemplating leaving the corporate world to do similar projects full time. Friends told me that it was about f*cking time (sic), but the fights made me rethink my decision – maybe people are not ready yet for my radical ideas.

So I griped to Ita and Wade (yes, just the two) and then told myself, ok, the pity party is over. The next day,  I suited up and went back to the daily grind. Within that 2-week period, as if by magic, there was an unusual outpour of amazing job offers, kind words of encouragement, silly videos, invitations to the most debaucherous parties in town. In facebook. Over the phone. Through emails. A gate had opened somewhere.

And then, the phone rang. A gentlemen offered me a RM400million portfolio. I kid you not. He said, are you up to it? I almost fainted with laughter. There is someone out there who would not trust me with a RM8K investment despite me crunching the numbers and showing how it would work. And here was some stranger, offering me an opportunity with an exponentially higher amount, purely based on instinct. There is someone out there who would not believe I could make things happen. And yet today  I stood witness to a first-ever-in-the-world collaboration that took shape and given life in less than 2 weeks.

How much or how little time we have didn’t matter. How much or how little money that we have didn’t matter. What matters is wanting it to happen. When you do, there is always a way.

To celebrate Ma’al Hijrah last year I blogged:

Open hearts. Open minds. Grace.

Good karma will be a natural consequence.

How  many times something like these happen?

Many times. Many MANY times.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Happy Merdeka everyone. I hope in time, our minds will be liberated and free and we will be unafraid to live a life uncommon.

Posted by: ijahamran | August 24, 2009

Which celebrity should Ijah date?

I asked some guys this question the other day during an icebreaking session. Yes yes, I am a narcissist, everything is about me; we’ve established that a long time ago so deal with it. The question was: Which celebrity should Ijah date?

The answers, in no particular order:

  1. Johnny Depp coz he’d know how to make me laugh, and he is a quirky unusual chap who’d take me to quirky unusual dates.
  2. Jon Bon Jovi, because after my review (*koff*complaints*koff*) of the Search Di Awan Biru Concert, he could show me a good rock and rolling time. Plus, by his own manager’s admission, they know all the strip clubs from New Jersey to Tokyo so I could be living the moody, intelligent, but cool as cucumber rockstar babe lifestyle like I deserved.
  3. And drumroll please…… Tom Cruise. Coz we’re the same height.

*lol*

Posted by: ijahamran | August 14, 2009

I Was a Mean Girl

(c) http://www.bizior.com/

An old friend of mine posted photos from high school in facebook and omg they reminded me of the various scandalous things that I did in school. I mean, I hated the learning part, and I hated the indoctrination part, but I sure had some (ok, a lot of) crazy moments.

For instance, there was this boy in school whom I literally terrorized for no reason until he could not walk 5 metres without people stopping him and said “Ijah kirim salam,” (Ijah said hello). Let’s call him Mr Abu. Out of a dare which no one took seriously, one fine afternoon I just walked in front of the female-only school assembly and told the entire girls’ brigade that if you see Mr Abu, stop him in his tracks and tell him “Ijah kirim salam,”. And they did. I supposed it was amusing the first 10 times, but by the third week he was probably close to having a nervous breakdown. I had no motives for doing that at all other than killing time.

And then there was a boy, let’s call him Mr Abu2, whom I stalked every Chemistry class just to annoy his BFF – this skinny little boy with huge glasses and a shrilly voice who threw a fit and called me all sorts of unimaginable dirty name in both the English and Bahasa Malaysia vocabulary whenever I sashayed to their table. I did this for 3 solid months. Why? Nothing. Purely for my own amusement.

And there was a boy who faithfully sent me regular love notes for 3 years  (he left after SRP, the mid high school examination). I didn’t reply, not once. In fact I never said a word to him. This was the same boy who trailed me around from the FIRST day of enrolment. He never meant me any harm. And I knew enough that it was a harmless infatuation. Would it have killed me to at least give him a smile? Nope. In fact  I made a huge show out of ignoring him the entire time. And despite the horrible way I treated him, he never said a bad word against me. So… why was I so mean towards him?

There was a boy who walked me back to the dorm after a sport’s practice session one evening because my arm was broken and I was slower than everyone else to store my sporting equipment (yes he helped me with that too). I stopped speaking to him years without any particular reason. It was only 3 years ago that I spoke to him again.

And another boy, that waited for me when I was 3 hours late, years ago when we were in college and Lot 10 was THE place to hang out. We hung out for a few years, then I inexplicably wandered away and cut off contact, for the love of me I could not even recall the reasons why. The last decent conversation we had was when he told me he was getting married, and when I asked why he said “I want to have a child before I turn 25,”. I went to his wedding but we didn’t speak. We just looked at each other and smiled.

Those are the 5 that I remembered, by looking at ONE photo of the football team.

To all these boys, I am sorry. You know who you are.

(Somehow I have a suspicion that I have never reformed and am still a mean girl)

Etc.

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