Eulogy for Phone #59


It is with great sadness that I announce the horrifying demise of phone #59 last night at approximately 7:45pm. I dropped the phone onto the road as I exited the car. I was completely unaware of this fact, of course. The phone was discovered when guests at the CNY dinner heard a loud crack and one of them went to the road to see what was the cause. There, she found the mangled, broken body of the victim lying face down, its screen smashed into a thousand, little pieces. Death was instantaneous.

Previous causes of phone deaths include, but not limited to, drowning in the washing machine, committing suicide by jumping into the toilet hole in Shell Kelana Jaya restroom, abandonement at the immigration desk in Changi airport and, most famously, by hiding in the backseat of various taxis all over the world. However, I must admit that last night’s death was by far the most sadistic in my long and proud history of murdering mobile phones.

Before I conclude this eulogy, here’s some house announcement:

1) As the micro SIM card cannot be inserted into my spare (basic) phone, I shall be incommunicado intermittently until I get a new phone or get a temporary number to tide me over;

2) I am able to use facebook messenger when I am at home or at the office or wherever there is internet access. But, if you call me or text me and I do not respond, it doesn’t mean that I am a snob or that I hate you and I have changed my number in order to avoid you. Maybe I do but that’s a different story;

3) With regards to item 1, I so the very welcome any phone donation, new or old. For the uninitiated, I have ceased buying my own phone since June 2010 due to the fact that I kill or lose them very often. Please note that usually I carry two numbers — office and personal. The incapacitated phone was my personal one. Since I am starting a new job soon, I have yet to be issued an office phone. Til then, see item 2.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the donor who gave me this phone. Despite its gruesome death, this phone lasted a little over 6 months, which in itself is some kind of a record. Bravo.

On that note, please join me in a moment of silence to mourn phone #59. RIP Pink Motorola. May you find peace in mobile phone heaven, if there is such a thing.

(I wonder what phone #60 would look like.)

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