Category Archives: food for thought

Siti Britney Goes to London

This tiny little book is going on an aeroplane and heading to London! Get a copy now by tweeting @zarn_G, @opzaharin or @studioanaianai (RM20 + RM6 postage).

BeFunky Designlondoncalling

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31 Days (Nights) of Rain is here!

My debut with indie publisher Studio Anai-Anai is (finally) born!

The book is sold at RM20 per copy, please add RM6 for postage (Malaysia only).

To purchase, place your order with:

  • Whatsapp: 0193681917 (Zaini)
  • FB Messenger: Mohzan OP-Zaharin

Or visit Studio Anai-Anai’s booth at Kotakata @ Kota Buku at Parkson, Maju Junction this Saturday (26 March 2016).

You can also purchase limited copies of signed and numbered books (1-100) at RM30nett (including postage). For these, write directly to sitibritney@gmail.com. RM5 will be donated under your name to Cancer Research Malaysia for each book sold. Purchases of 10 books and above will make you eligible for tax exemption.

What are you waiting for, little darlings?

31 Days of Rain book cover

 

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Eulogy for Phone #59

phone59

It is with great sadness that I announce the horrifying demise of phone #59 last night at approximately 7:45pm. I dropped the phone onto the road as I exited the car. I was completely unaware of this fact, of course. The phone was discovered when guests at the CNY dinner heard a loud crack and one of them went to the road to see what was the cause. There, she found the mangled, broken body of the victim lying face down, its screen smashed into a thousand, little pieces. Death was instantaneous.

Previous causes of phone deaths include, but not limited to, drowning in the washing machine, committing suicide by jumping into the toilet hole in Shell Kelana Jaya restroom, abandonement at the immigration desk in Changi airport and, most famously, by hiding in the backseat of various taxis all over the world. However, I must admit that last night’s death was by far the most sadistic in my long and proud history of murdering mobile phones.

Before I conclude this eulogy, here’s some house announcement:

1) As the micro SIM card cannot be inserted into my spare (basic) phone, I shall be incommunicado intermittently until I get a new phone or get a temporary number to tide me over;

2) I am able to use facebook messenger when I am at home or at the office or wherever there is internet access. But, if you call me or text me and I do not respond, it doesn’t mean that I am a snob or that I hate you and I have changed my number in order to avoid you. Maybe I do but that’s a different story;

3) With regards to item 1, I so the very welcome any phone donation, new or old. For the uninitiated, I have ceased buying my own phone since June 2010 due to the fact that I kill or lose them very often. Please note that usually I carry two numbers — office and personal. The incapacitated phone was my personal one. Since I am starting a new job soon, I have yet to be issued an office phone. Til then, see item 2.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the donor who gave me this phone. Despite its gruesome death, this phone lasted a little over 6 months, which in itself is some kind of a record. Bravo.

On that note, please join me in a moment of silence to mourn phone #59. RIP Pink Motorola. May you find peace in mobile phone heaven, if there is such a thing.

(I wonder what phone #60 would look like.)

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I’ll Be Seeing You

The Solianos, Majestic KL

Will you wait for me?

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Turning In My Wings

Photo by James Katz

It was fun while it lasted.

I am ready for new things now.

Bye bye Orange, may you always fly high.

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Throwback Thursday: February 2012

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Rumah Pena, 4 years after my last public performance in Rahsia — ironically it took place in February 2008, one leap year in the past.

Setlist: Mencari Kepastian, Wishlist and I Wrote This.

Encore: Warisan Wanita Terakhir, but only a couple of lines before I started laughing, ruining the moment for everyone.

I need to get back to this fighting fit shape. 3 years is too long to go without running and a ‘live’ show. Next leap year, perhaps?

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Open Letter to Cik Electric Tomato

Dear Cik Electric Tomato,

I haven’t had my heart broken for a long time. And I have never been married. So I cannot even begin to fully understand how you feel. However, I was once in a relationship where the prick I was seeing was also seeing someone else. When we were in a relationship, he feigned loyalty and said he would love me til the end of his life. Today he doesn’t love me anymore, but he is still alive, apparently Death did not claim him despite him breaking his words.

Such is life.

I was the one who suggested the break-up because the distance and the fact that we wanted vastly different things made the relationship very difficult to upkeep. At the time, no hard feelings. Everything was fine. I thought it was one of those civilized break-ups where you could remain friends.

As it turned out, when we were dating, he was also dating the other girl. Maddeningly, I only found out about this after we broke up, thanks to the loose lips of a mutual friend who was aware of the trickery. Although we no longer had any relationship to speak of by then, the pain hit me like a Shinkansen train. Fucking loser. If you want to be with someone else, grow some balls, please. He only confessed when I confronted him. And then, he had the gall to tell me that this was God’s plans. Please. Do not blame God for the awful things that you did.

Cheating is cheating. If it happens while you are in a relationship with someone else, that’s cheating, you prick. It doesn’t matter that I discovered it afterwards.

We had only one argument with each other in our entire lives and it was about this. My lightbulb moment came when he told me “Don’t be so full of yourself,”.

You know what, Cik Electric Tomato? He was absolutely right. I was angry but I should not feel sorry about what happened because it wasn’t a reflection of who I am or my character. It was his. His weakness. His deceit. Have a good life, I told him, without me in it. Good riddance.

We haven’t spoken since. The friendship broke. I am not sorry about it at all. My life has been great since. His life may be great too,  I don’t know and I don’t care.

One night, my sisters asked out to go karaoke. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back, my sisters were so excited about the song that was about to play. Here, this is for you kak, said my sister and handed me the microphone. The song was Daughtry’s Over You. I liked it so much, we put it on repeat.

It doesn’t seem possible right now, but some day you will wake up and feel better that this cheat is out of your life for good.

In the meantime, please listen to the Lipat Kain playlist to mend your heart.  I play this on maximum volume when I am folding my clothes because I hate folding clothes like a heartbreak. I also play this Lipat Kain playlist when I go out running because it reminds me that I am strong and I can push through any challenges and obstacles.

Your ex-husband will not miss you. But that is okay. Because you ain’t gonna miss him at all too. Just take care good of yourself, be hot, be successful and take heart that whatever this is, you will conquer it too.

Else, let’s go torch his car. I’ll bring the lighter. Peace y’all!

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