Some Things Don’t Fade

Once upon a time there exist a song that reminds me of a boy that I knew from a very long time ago. I have very vivid memories of him – the first time I saw him, the first time we spoke, what he said to me about my long damp hair that I hastily tied up into a messy ponytail because I was running late one night, the time he walked beside me without saying a word.

I don’t know why these memories exist. He wasn’t anyone special. I mean, he wasn’t special to me that way. And I wasn’t special to him that way either. But I guess you don’t get to choose the kind of memories that your mind wants to hold on to. These random occurrences, so  regular, so un-amazing, yet they flash through my mind every time I hear the strains of this song, a song that has no reason to be associated with him at the first place.

I have long ceased to try to explain this phenomenon. But I can tell you how I feel when my mind replays those little bits of stories from my past. I feel warm. Luminous. Like a small light is glowing very softly inside my heart. How during the uncertainty and awkwardness of youth, when nothing seems to be right with the world, he saw me. He saw me. In those moments, I existed. I was… the center of the universe.

He made feel that I was going to be alright.

And I know I will be.

This, too, is a true story.

(He never knew any of this.)

 

Drawing

Artist: Mr. Children
Album: It’s A Wonderful World
Words & Music: Sakurai Kazutoshi

I suddenly had a momentary flashback of the scenery I dreamed of in my far
far off childhood.
The young girl who kissed my cheek while laughing overlaps with you.

The floating time is marked by the faint rays from the cloudy sky
I wonder if I can air-tightly pack this wonderful, troublesome feeling?

Even if I draw it, as time goes on, something will fade.
Forever is always a fleeting shapeless shadow,
with you, by me

If I could draw better and better pictures
what I really want to draw is you.
for me, you are, in short, those little points
and everything in total.

The real answer is slumbering within the foolishness and lies
I wonder if we can make it through this wonderful hasty life three-legged?

No matter what I draw you’ll definitely be in the picture.
I know it when I take a deep breath with my eyes closed.
You’re always in my notepad.

Even if I draw it, as time goes on, something will fade.
Forever is always a fleeting shapeless shadow,
with you, by me
and always in my notepad.

Translated By: Brian Stewart & Takako Sakuma

Translator’s Notes: “three-legged” means like with one of each person’s
legs bound to one of the other person’s legs. Like in a three legged race.

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Filed under food for thought, Wonder

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