The Anugerah Juara Lagu 24 took place last night. If you want to have a look at the list of winners, you can see it here.
While I have been radio-unfriendly for the past decade or so, I do try to catch all these “live” telecasts just to see what people are up to. And boy, was I in for a treat. I haven’t laughed hysterically so much in months. And thanks to facebook, it was really a social affair with people from all over the country chipping in with their comments.
But naaah…I don’t want to belabor the point in here. I am sure you can easily find these elsewhere on the Internet. Some people say it’s the best ever, some people (me) say it’s a circus. Either way, it was great fun. You know, the kind of fun you get when you watch a horribly bad movie (*koff* Dude, Where’s My Car? *koff*) that is so bad it is good? Like that lah. Honestly, my thumb could not answer all the status comments that appeared on my wall fast enough (I was updating my status using my mobile phone).
Without naming names, here are some stuff that we could all learn from last night’s show:
1. MAKE SURE THE PANTS FIT!
If you are wearing pants, make sure it is not two sizes too small. And if it is, do not keep tugging your vest thus bringing more attention to your bunched crotch area. I spent a good portion of the night howling at the tv trying to telepathically tell one of the presenters that his pants were just obscene. How can you tell? If the pockets bulge no matter how hard you tuck them in and you can’t bend down to pick up a coin on the floor without ripping a rude one on “live” tv, it’s time to change pants, pronto.
2. TOO MUCH RUFFLES AND SEQUINS WILL KILL YOU
Honestly, it would. One of the contestants wore a satin gold, lacy, sequinned and be-ruffled mermaid dress that defied all imagination (I dare you to imagine it yet keep your brain from exploding). I can’t even find an example of said dress short of posting pic of the actual dress. I swore my poor tv flickered a few times trying bravely to keep on transmitting while the dress was on display.
3. MILITARY STYLE JACKETS SHOULD BE BURIED TOGETHER WITH MJ
2 of them wore military style jackets (one complete with his initials in sequins at the lapels, honest); and at least 3 of them wore a wedding-singer-inspired blazer with colour-block piping straight from the early 80’s. Just like the picture, only you know, way less cool. Did I mention they also added sequins to the jackets?
4. YOU DON’T GET MARKS BASED ON HOW MANY BACK-UP SINGERS YOU CAN STUFF ONSTAGE
Or offstage, for that matter. Look, about the only person who could sing onstage with 150 choristers belting their harmonious hearts out without being upstaged is Mariah Carey. You are not Mariah Carey.
5. ADAM LAMBERT HAIR & MAKE-UP IS SO LAST SEASON
Turn the page, boys. The piece-y, hair-gelled, mussed to the death punk-goth hairdo and heavy black-eyeliner is so American Idol season 8. The only boys who didn’t sport this hairstyle were those who had wavy, big hair. Don’t even get me started on the pink blushers. If I can tell that it’s blusher on my non-high definition no-brand 29″ tv that I bought from Carrefour 6 years ago, then you’re wearing too much blusher.
6. TOO MUCH KAPOW, TOO LITTLE SINGING
The AJL last night made me long for the days when it was the singing that counted. Do you remember these?
“Merisik Khabar” by the (late) Sudirman Hj Arshad, Juara Lagu 1987
“Pada Syurga di Wajahmu” by Nash (Lefthanded), Juara Lagu 1992
“Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud” by M Nasir, Juara Lagu 1994
When the singing is sound, the composition is good, the musicians are top-notch, you don’t need flying monkeys and exploding stages to make your grand impression.
And lastly, my shoutout to Search, whose short but memorable cameo during the show was probably the best bit about the whole competition. I couldn’t find the clip from last night, so I leave you with “Laila Namamu Teratas”, which is Aida’s favourite Search karaoke tune.