In Search of Cartier Love Ring

I have this sister. If I had my way, I would have described her in the past tense; but unlike friends, you can’t choose your family.

Anyway, I have this sister. For some reason, whenever we are in a social gathering where she has to introduce me, she would always say that I am her older sister (no complains) and end it with “… and she’s single, heheheheh” with sort of a combination of nervous, apologetic laughter. She did this about 4-5 times before I took her aside and asked her why did she have to reason my existence with the sentence “…. and she’s single, heheheheh”? She responded indignantly that she didn’t know how to introduce me and that was the most interesting thing about me that she could think of.

So I told her to stop.

There are 2 reasons why I bring this up.

Firstly, recently I met a friend whom I haven’t met in about a decade. True to form, one of the very few questions that he mustered during the conversation was “Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”. There was no graceful way to answer this kind of question without sounding offended, so I said something about me going out with someone (true) but not having any plans to settle down yet (also true). He gave me one of those pitifully sarcastic side grins which I understood immediately to mean “You poor sad little choosy soul,”

Secondly, today one of my friends got engaged to her longtime beau. It was a lovely ceremony and the pictures were absolutely beautiful and hilarious (PS3 as one of the gifts? Only in the new millennium). As I browsed through the pictures, I found that I was constantly looking up to the TV screen to catch the deleted scenes from Constantine. Eventually I logged off and watched Constantine in full, and when it ended continued with Transformers 2 before deciding to write this blogpost; but not before I posted the note about my 2010 resolution. No drama, no envy, no pangs of jealousy, no me imagining what my engagement party would be like. I was just happy for her; the simple kind of happy like how I feel when it rains, or when I get free coffee refills, or when someone tells me my high heels are impossibly high how on earth could I wear them without toppling all over myself  (by walking very very carefully and deliberately).

The point I want to make is this.  STOP. There are many reasons why I choose to be single, just as there are many reasons, I am sure, why other people choose  to be one half of a couple. I don’t detest marriage. I don’t advocate being single as the choice for everyone. I don’t view couples as an ambition to achieve. I am not one of those girls in Sex and The City. Yes I love the series, and I love the movie and you betcha I will be in line for the second movie next summer but I am not one of them.

I am just someone that actually likes who she is, where she’s at and the kind of relationships that she has with the men in her life. I know that I will continue to encounter these questions and the side grins and the supposedly well-meaning introductions. I’ll live. I am sure if I think hard enough I will find a suitable response that is nice enough to make people feel good about themselves yet firm enough to keep them out of my petticoat.

And that Cartier Love Ring? Don’t worry about it. I bought it myself. And yes I can afford it. And that’s a more interesting story to tell than my being “…single heheheheh”.



Filed under Conversations/Arguments, Go Grr...

8 responses to “In Search of Cartier Love Ring

  1. PC Ng

    Nothing wrong with being single and independant. Better be alone and happy than attached and not.

  2. Exactly. And I think I haven’t done too badly for myself where career or love love crap, I mean, drama is concerned. Some people can only dream of having the kind of drama that I have with the men/stalkers that I have to put up with ok.

    And where is this notion that I am sad and lonely and pitiful came from? Don’t they know unworthy men will burst into flame spontaneously when they come within 500m radius of me?

  3. You used to call me CLOUDS. Well, we were in the Lalaland of Alamak eons ago. Now the place is nothing like how it used to be. Great to read your blog. REFRESHING. Take care Ija.

    p/s: Hey, have you not come up with your own album?

    • Olie! Of course I remember you. How’re things? Still working in middle east? And whatever happened to your friend Alex Iskandar?

      I’m on facebook too, if you do that sort of thing :-) (look up

      • Glad u still remember me. But I’m no longer in the Middle East. Last time we communicated I was already back in KL. Guess where I am now? I’m currently working in Cape Town. Yuppp, in South Africa! Have been here a year already.

        My friend Alex Zulkarnain? I guess he’s still somewhere in KL. Dah lama tak dengar citer mamat tu. Weren’t u guys supposed to get together jamming or come up with some songs or sumthin? Guess, it never took place ehh?

        Hey Ijah, check out the link I put up there.. some of the photos I took during a safari trip here.

        Hope all goes well and you win some composer award or sumthin! *LOL*

    • Lol Yeah Alex Zulkarnain, not Alex Iskandar! I know so many Alex’es over the years.

      We tried to jam and planned a few times, tapi lepas tu I worked overseas kan and tak pernah dapat jumpa. Talented bloke your friend tu, dia kat Sarawak lagi ke or dah balik jadi orang Klang Lama? I came back to KL in late 2006 to work in an investment bank, then Nestle and then about 6 months ago I joined AirAsia to head its regional ancillary income function.

      Cape town? Wow! Nak datang visit boleh? Tahun 2010 tahun rimau :-)


    Cartier Love Ring –

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