In An Hour

It has been an extremely trying day. 

I screamed at people for the first time in more than 10 years. The last time I  raised my voice was in 1998. I am not even close to kidding.

I said fuck, fucked up, you are fucking kidding me, fuck you more than my fair quota for the decade.

I almost cried.  Have you ever been so angry your entire body shook and tears welled up? 

Has there even been a day in your life when things are so screwed up over something so silly yet unbelievably beyond your control and completely destructive? A day when there is absolutely nothing you can do or say or pray that would rectify the situation. There is no rectifying, period. Have you had that day? Today is my day.

And so, I give myself Alive, by Mr Children. A reminder. I am still alive. Tomorrow begins in an hour. I can hold on for one more hour.

In an hour I am buying myself a bunch of gerberas. Sip coffee and watch the traffic comes to life.  Write a song. Or a blogpost. If I am lucky, maybe it’ll rain. I’ve lost my phone. So it will be a morning all to myself.

In an hour, I am determined to make it a good day. For me. All for me.

I have fucking earned it.

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4 Comments

Filed under Happy

4 responses to “In An Hour

  1. Anonymous

    write a song, write a song…
    nnti aku masuk drum part hihi..

  2. tentu2nya last night aku langsung tak tido and wrote a song abt it. Apa kata I bring my guitar to your place, go collect my amp at rahsia and we jam.

  3. adlina

    Hi Rafizah, we meet at one seminar in PJ Hiton last 3 years. its okay if you dont remember… hehehe, anyway, stumbled upon this blog yesterday, and i just can’t peeled my eyes away from reading post to post..

    had a good time reading. sedih pun ada, happy pun ada… semua pun ada. Keep on writing, yeah! i know i’ll keep on reading….

    :)

  4. Hi adlina, I remember. It was the business media PR workshop with Anita & Julian Matthews and Khoo Hsu Chuang. They are all in my facebook by the way. Come join us there: look for Ijah Amran :-) Fancy connecting back with you in my personal blog but stranger things have happened, I swear.

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