Learn how to use the word ‘poseur’

I’ll start by offering a cookie to wade for being such a good boy. Here you go:

cookie

Let’s improve our vocabulary and learn how to use the word ‘poseur’  (sometimes spelled as ‘poser’). For the purpose of this lesson, we will use the  male pronoun ‘he’ and its inflected forms. It doesn’t, in any way, indicate that females are incapable of being poseurs.

Let’s begin.

Poseur can be used as a noun, adjective or verb.

NOUN

When used as a noun, a poseur means a person who affects some behaviour, style, attitude or other condition, often to impress or influence others. This is not to be confused with wanting to deceive, which carries malicious intent. Those are called two-faced, fucking liars.

Often, poseurs are merely a glutton for attention. This annoying behaviour is borne out of  their strange,  incessant need for approval and acceptance.  A poseur thinks highly of himself and believes that he is a charming, intelligent, funny, popular, well-read well-informed, worldly and, most importantly, modest bloke. Yes, pride is the worst of the 7 deadly sins.

A poseur will see nothing wrong with his behaviour. In fact he prides himself for what he thinks is his chameleonic ability to fit in with just about anyone in any situation. Bitching, name-calling, storytelling, fishmongering, sharing delicious tidbits that he hears from A with B and vice versa, even right down to  cutting the truth into different shapes and sizes and pieces to fit the story that he is selling – all these are merely tools, you understand? After all, having a mutual enemy is the lowest and quickest common denominator.

Quite simply, a poseur is someone who likes to talk big, and look good, but doesn’t do much. It can be used interchangeably with pompous, creep, faker and impostor.

Example: He only says those nice, conspiratorial things to her because he thinks he is getting laid; he doesn’t even like her. He’s such a poseur.

ADJECTIVE

When used as an adjective, the word poseur describes excessive self-esteem or exaggerated dignity. Do you know of someone who has an overly high opinion of himself and shamelessly loves to let other people know about it? Does he make exaggerated display of self-importance to show that he is the big man on campus? Ding ding ding. That’s a poseur.

Example: He is a poseur punk rocker who says that he has the complete collection of all  Sex Pistols and the Ramones albums but can’t name a single one of  them .

VERB

Lastly, poseur can be used as a linking verb. Simply: Those sonofabitches are all poseurs.

That’s all children. I hope now you know the right way to use the word poseur. Remember, when you come into contact with one, quickly douse him with gasoline and set him on fire. Or, if you’re driving, make sure you hit him at the fastest speed that your vehicle will allow and then reverse the car over him, just to be sure. It’s only the humane thing to do.

Til our next vocabulary lesson, have a fabulous Friday nite or whatever’s left of it.

References: Definitions are courtesy of wikipedia, the freedictionary, the urbandictionary and my own collective experiences.

Disclaimer: This post contains intentional swearing meant for educational purposes only. I do not encourage swearing, cursing or any form of general lewdness unless I’m the one who’s doing it.

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