It’s 9.08pm. I attempted to go home just now but it was raining like it was a demon cleansing ritual I decided to hang on until the sky’s cleared up a bit. This morning I woke up to find that my bathroom door is locked. The details are fuzzy but I think this is what happened: I woke up some time during the night to do my business and then accidentally locked the door behind me. I absolutely have no recollection whatsoever. Long story short, I think I have to set aside RM500 next month for a new bathroom door. The hammer sure is handy when you need one to crack open a recalcitrant door.
This post is about a rumor that has been circulating about me. Sorry, rumors. Apparently it was started by one of my (now ex) staff, a particularly demure-looking, soft spoken angelic little witch. She has left the company (read: persuaded to resign) so now I can write about it without worrying about injuring her reputation since she managed to do that all on her own. Obviously these particular rumors are not something new, but I find it very interesting that rumors are always started and circulated by the people who are not able to perform well at work.
Anyway, through the roundabout way, I found out that I am:
- A sad and lonely spinster who leads a totally meaningless life. To ease my loneliness, I work long hours because I have no one to go home to. And since I am not getting any, I hate it when others happen to have a life. Meaning I favor staff that sacrifices their lives for work. And apparently, there are many staff in my department who loves to do nothing but kiss my rounded, spankalicious (okay, I made up the part about spankalicious) ass which is why so many people work late these days. The fact that we are compressing 16 months of work into 4 measly months has nothing to do with it.
- A conniving little b*tch who forces my staff to introduce me to their contacts and then block them from taking the credit or participate in future do’s because after I have suck all the fresh blood from their puny necks, I discard them like the corpses they are.
- Absolutely clueless about the concept of Malay superiority. I am treading on dangerous ground here so let me reiterate that I am merely quoting her verbatim when I type “Melayu pun tak nak tolong sesama Melayu,” (transliterate: She’s not helping me although we’re both Malays). Apparently, judging performance based on merits is ridiculous.
- A lousy leader as 4 people have left since I joined 5 months ago. By the way, just to clear the headcount, 3 out of the 4 were terminated or, err, suggested very strongly to hand in their resignations due to non-performance or willful misconduct; while the 4th one resigned to go back to her original line of work. I didn’t know that weeding out the weak is considered lousy leadership but apparently I am wrong. I know better now.
- A person who has barriers and refuses to participate or share at an emotional and personal level with her co-workers (she actually said this to my face). If by barriers she means I don’t sit around at the canteen gossiping with anyone who would listen then damn right I have barriers. Anyway I digress, it seems that these barriers made me less human and very clinical. I could just cry.
- A jealous freak that refuses to assign ‘important’ projects or roles to people who are more, err how do I phrase this, popular and well-liked than I am. So, on top of everything else, I am also a publicity hog who can’t stand it if the spotlight is not on me.
- And, I saved the best one for last, a failure at communicating. I mean, honestly? It’s like I don’t even know myself anymore.
Oh, but those are not the icing on the cake. After all the stuff that she said about me (which I have not responded publicly by the way, except for the occasional burst of laughter and shaking of the head), wait for it, she has the gall to ask and give my name away on her resume as character reference! I could just die with disbelief.
Can someone give her RM10 to buy a clue?!! Anyone?