I am starting to write songs for myself again.
Not that I ever stopped – I still occasionally write for friends or entertain the odd requests for collaborations. But not for me, I stopped writing songs for me or about me a long time ago.
Why? I just didn’t have anything to say. I suppose you could say that I am a lot more private about my private life these days.
It’s not like I haven’t had my heart broken (after all the best inspiration strikes when the heart is broken, yes?). But I didn’t want to commemorate these with a song. These boys, they’re not worth remembering. I don’t want any traces of them in my life, not in my memories, not in my songs. I was better off without them – I became saner, nicer to be with, fun-ner. I don’t want any of them to listen to my stuff and think, f*ck yeah, she wrote that about me, about us.
Please. You’re not that memorable.
I am starting to write again because an encounter with a long lost friend reminds me of my youthful days.
I was a snob in college. I hardly socialized. I was only friends with a select group of people.
It’s not that I wasn’t friendly. It’s just that, at that point of time, college was not where I wanted to be. I felt shackled, indoctrinated.
Writing songs, jamming with my motley crue – that was my release. It gave me something to talk about, something to share.
In a time when I had nothing in common with the people around me, we found truce in music. It it wasn’t for music, I would have never spoken to him, never known him.
I like that.
Hence I am writing again.
The next collection of songs that I will be recording on my creaky laptop and even creakier mic will be dedicated to this boy. Not because he is someone special, but because he made me want to write again. Because he reminds me writing songs is not just good to mend broken hearts, it is good to bridge the time that is lost between us, too.
The Applause has been sitting in the corner, gathering dust, for too long.
This is my liner note to him. No names. But thanks babe, you know who you are.
(To check out songs from my first collection which I entitled “Three Phases to Goodbye:, click here)
Photo (c) Acoustic Guitar by Sofamonkez
